The Ballad of Randall Red-Banned Rusty (The Pistol Shrimp Sheriff of the Western Sea)

The Manic Minstrel

Randall Red-Banned Rusty

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy out
…beyond the wild, wild West

No, not yet. Keep on going…
Far beyond and under the Great Big Blue
somewhere’s about the Great Barrier Crest
burrowed beneath a desert reef
resides a mighty son of thunder
– a sawed-off sheriff shrimp
named Randall Red-Banned Rusty
who defies stereotypes of diminutive size
Perpetually packing his punch
and proving that he’s no wimp
Always sporting a starfish on his chest
and hair triggers true and trusty;

No thief dare intrude
on his town or village
without getting deaf and dusty,
He’s shooting shock waves
to simmer down troubles
at 218 decibels and 5,000 degrees
besting all bandits with cavitation bubbles,
Singing “So Long and Saloon”
happily spelling your doom
as the departed are eulogized
by friend and anemones;

Now, this snappy sniper’s vision
ain’t too keen,
but he’s a Cool Hand Duke
with a Goby Fish Deputy
(a jittery finned…

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With Mosaic array of color adorned
and a mellow “prreee!”
resounding as they sing,
these master hunters recall
how they always get their bee
but never get the sting.